Never Retire Profile of the Week
Warren Buffett
Born at the beginning of the Great Depression – about a year after Black Tuesday – it seems as though Warren Buffett has never not been an entrepreneur. At age 7, he took a book out of the Omaha public library called One Thousand Ways to Make $1000, and from that moment on created business after business until becoming the Buffett we know today: director of Berkshire Hathaway, savvy investor, extraordinary money manager, influential global thinker, engaging storyteller, dedicated philanthropist, and one of the world’s richest individuals. Long committed to giving his entire fortune away to charity – less small gifts to his children – Buffett announced in 2006 that The Gates Foundation would receive 83% of his worth over time. Today, Buffett continues to fund and support various charities and has no plans to retire from a life of active philanthropy.
Last year, a dear cycling friend took me aside to tell me he had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He was giving up cycling because he struggled with balancing himself on a bike. He shared details of his new reality, which included doctors’ appointments, experimental drugs, and a reduced life span. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for everything he would miss in life.
At the end of the season, the riding club hosted a BBQ and my friend attended. I couldn’t believe how good he looked and how positive he sounded. He seemed so transformed that I had to ask if he was cured of MS. He laughed and said, “Hell no. But it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
I was stunned and asked what he meant. He told me that during the summer, he spent more time than ever before learning about the lives of his adult children, laughing with his wife, and having coffee with his mother. MS forced him to be present and fully engage in everything he does. For that, he felt it was the best thing that ever happened to him.
I heard what he said and his story made sense to me at the time. But I didn’t really understand.
I think I do now. COVID-19 has uprooted our lives and caused economic troubles – for individuals, regions and countries. It has demanded that we examine every aspect of our lives, not just to stay safe but also to understand the reach and impact of this pandemic in so many different arenas.
Despite the misfortune we are witnessing daily, which cannot be understated, the coronavirus outbreak also offers an opportunity for reflection and learning. In my case, I’m starting to see that it has provided me with several lifelong blessings.
Allow me share a few.
1. My relationship with friends
I recently read this online: “Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone. Too often we’re too stubborn to say, ‘Sorry, I was wrong.’ Too often we hurt those closest to our hearts and we let the most foolish things tear us all apart.”
After six weeks of self-quarantine at home, what I miss the most are the “mundane” interactions with family and friends, like ordering my favourite drink at Starbucks and joking with the barista. Or my Saturday morning espresso buddies. Or drinking beer with my cycling friends after a long ride. I could go on, but you get the picture. I miss all the human interactions I took for granted. I assumed they would last forever, so I never gave them a second thought.
I sure am thinking about them now.
How could I not realize how important these “meaningless interactions” were to my mental health? Many of us never considered this question and may not be sure how to answer even today. I can say that I was blind to the many gifts I received from other people.
My new, post-COVID-19 persona will try to live more in the present and fully engage with everyone I meet. At the end of each day, I have been writing down three positive encounters, explaining why these people were important to me and reflecting on how I, too, can be important to them. I will continue this practice after the pandemic passes.
2. My relationship with family
As my readers know, I have two adult sons and a teenage daughter. We speak often, but recently I noticed that our conversations were very general and didn’t go into any real depth. I would ask, “How are things going”? and the answer would be, “Great Dad, how about you?”
During the last six weeks, I stopped asking general questions and instead became more detailed. For example, my middle child has a new girlfriend. I asked him, “How is this relationship different than the past ones you have been in?” I was shocked at the detail of his answer, and the conversation led to many follow-up calls.
Here’s another example. My oldest son’s employer had been planning to transfer him to New York City early in 2020, and now his move is obviously on hold indefinitely. In my lack of sensitivity, I failed to ask how he felt about the postponement of his career. How could I have been so blind to his obvious pain and worry? Was I too busy? Was I too selfishly involved in my own life? I don’t know, but I missed his disappointment for several weeks. Finally, I began asking about his feelings around the move and how he was keeping himself relevant during his wait. Again, I was shocked by the depth of his answer.
Have I been placing a greater value on money and success than “stopping to smell the roses”? I think so.
My post-COVID-19 persona will work on improving my relationship with the kids, my brother and my parents.
3. My relationship with spending
Well-known American financial author David Ramsey once wrote, “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
By spending the last six weeks working from home, only leaving to buy groceries, I realized that my family and I have accumulated a lot of stuff. My bedroom closets and drawers don’t properly close. My basement has two rooms entirely full of things I don’t need today but might in the future. My kitchen is equipped with every conceivable dish, glass, pot and utensil that a world-class chef would own.
It’s odd (or is it irresponsible?) that I never questioned buying the second or third version of the same thing.
I have written before about my participation in many charity events, such as the Princess Margaret Ride To Conquer Cancer. To support my riding hobby, I own three different racing bikes: one to use indoors with a trainer, a second as a back up in the event my good bike is down for repairs, and the third for my personal use on outdoor rides.
If you are familiar with the sport, you know how expensive racing bikes are. I estimate that my three bikes cost over $20,000. In addition, riders need clothing for spring, summer and fall. It’s not usual to spend $200-$500 on one full outfit, and riders need multiple sets. If you watch the Tour De France, you’ll see that it’s a fashion show as much as a race. So of course, my clothing and my selection of bikes reflect how I want to be “seen” on my ride, as much as ensuring my safety.
There are also the winter training fees, the club membership dues, and the trips. Last year, I spent one week riding the trails of beautiful Lake Cuomo in northern Italy. I will not share the cost of that trip! And no, it’s not a tax deduction, in case you were wondering.
I’m using my obsession with cycling as an example of spending without necessarily thinking. I could give many other examples of overspending on “stuff” and justifying purchases as essential.
Has thoughtless buying crept up for you?
My new post-COVID-19 persona will purchase goods and services more thoughtfully and deliberately. Here is my new rule: If I already own a functional product, I will buy the new product only if I am willing to remove or give away the existing one. For example, if I want a new pair of shoes, am I prepared to rid myself of one old pair? This becomes a one-for-one trade and prevents the accumulation of stuff.
I am choosing to view the adversity we are all experiencing an opportunity for growth, and I’m guessing that COVID-19 has brought some unexpected changes to your life too. To ensure that something positive comes out of this deeply distressing situation, my wish for all of us is that we take this time to reflect on our relationships with friends, family and spending.
Did this article resonate with you? What did I miss? Send me a note and let’s start the conversation.
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1https://www.all-greatquotes.com/too-often-we-dont-realize-what-we-have-until-its-gone
source https://richarddri.ca/3-blessings-covid-19-has-offered-me/
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