In my book entitled “Live Well, Stay Rich, Never Retire” I spell out the secrets to achieving financial goals for business owners and professionals, and the truth is, the secrets apply to everyone, including me.
Executive summary
My life’s philosophy is explained in my e-Book: Live Well, Stay Rich, Never Retire and during the summer months, I reflected on this philosophy and how it applies to my life as a single father, friend, and new widower.
I asked myself three important questions:
- Am I living my life deliberately?
- Am I financially independent ?
- Am I focusing on the activities that provide meaning, purpose and passion?
You’ll have to read the blog to learn my answers but here’s a clue.
While reflecting, I noticed a new interest and passion for the unique financial needs of people dealing with the lose of a spouse, or struggles of a divorce. Although the emotions are completely different, each group experienced the death of their “couple’s lifestyle” and the beginning of a new life, alone.
Since becoming a financial planner in 1992, I have always focused on the needs of pre and post retirees but to be true to my new passion, going forward, we’ll expand our focus to also include the specific needs of widows/ers and those in a mist of a divorce.
The blogs and podcasts will now focus on the financial needs of pre and post retirees ( as in the past) plus the specific needs of people in the midst of a major life transition such widowhood or divorce.
Here’s where I could use your help. If a friend or family member sadly becomes a widow/or or is in the mist of a divorce, please introduce The Dri Financial Group as the team that provides the emotional and financial expertise needed during life’s most traumatic changes.
The summer of 2021
Summer months for many Canadians is a time to relax on a Muskoka Chair, read the latest novels, enjoy food and drinks, or shoot the breeze with friends. For me, the summer of 2021 was extremely pensive as it marked the one and half year milestone of the death of my dear wife, Mary.
Yes, it was sad to ponder all the family events Mary has missed and the many more she will not be able to participate and enjoy. For example, during the last 18 months Mary didn’t see our eldest and his girlfriend buy their first home and get engaged, or meet our second child’s new (and very serious) live-in girlfriend, or our youngest’s Grade-12 graduation and 19th birthday party.
The summer lull also provided an opportunity to contemplate my own future and led me to revisit my “Live well, Stay Rich, Never Retire” philosophy. Here’s a quick recap of the philosophy:
Live Well
I define the “Live Well “component as the act of living in a deliberate manner and understanding that everything that has happened in life is/was caused by something we did or didn’t do. Hence, we alone set the course of our future.
I believe it’s essential to establish realistic goals, prioritizing the goals, and prepare a plan to achieve those goals. Yes, I know that it sounds like common sense, but it’s so easy to just “Go With The Flow” and arrive wherever life takes you. This approach is not how I envision living well.
Live well = live deliberately
Stay Rich
The “Stay Rich” component requires a clear definition of the amount of money necessary to achieve one’s financial goals (e.g., financial independence) and “why” they are important.
The sum of money and the reasons for the financial goals must be specific to each individual and shouldn’t be compared nor influenced by others (friends and media).
Yes, I know that it also sounds so easy but unfortunately, our definition of financial independence is often influenced by the money our friends have or the images that swamp our social media.
Stay Rich = attain the money required to achieve your personal financial goals.
Never Retire
The “Never Retire” component suggests we drop our obsession with retirement, instead we carry on with the activities that ignite our strongest passions and learn how to delegate everything else.
The process involves taking inventory of daily tasks and finding ways to focus solely on the activities that provide meaning, purpose and passion in life and finding others to complete tasks that we no longer have a passion about.
Never Retire = focus on the activities that provide meaning, purpose, and passion
Mulling over the future
Over the course of the summer months, I had the privilege to enjoy simple experiences with a quiet mind. This enabled me to reflect on many things including my life today as a widower and single father. How does my philosophy now compare to the life I had before, with Mary?
The answer is clear, I’ve never believed so strongly in ensuring that I create a life for myself that makes me excited to wake up in the morning. There’s a well-known quote that inspires me greatly, “When you can’t change the direction of the wind – adjust your sail – Keep reading… the significance of this quote will be reveled shortly.
My version of “Live Well”
I love my career. I love what I do and making my clients grow financially with security, confidence, and peace of mind gives me so much satisfaction. This passion does define me and I’m certain that I can’t move away from it.
These last two years have been traumatic. There’s simply no other way to describe it. Myself and my children are moving forward because we must, however it’s anything but easy.
My experience has provided me with insight on how devasting a loss of a spouse can be, and I can’t imagine what it must be like for people left alone unexpectantly without the experience of managing their finances.
“Adjust your sail” I have/we have. The Dri Financial Group is embarking on an exciting adventure that will expand our services to include the special financial needs of widows/widowers.
My version of “Stay Rich”
Next, I tackled the Stay Rich component. In this section, I defined “Rich” as having enough money to provide freedom of time. The time to deepen old friendships while creating the opportunity to meet new friends, the freedom to explore and experience new countries and scenery, the freedom to focus on my role as a father and the time to find a special woman to share my life.
Based on my calculations, I had achieved my number for financial independence and could now enjoy the benefits that come with the freedom of more personal time.
My version of “Never Retire”
Finally, I focused on the “never retire” component and what that meant to me. Since Mary’s death in January, 2020, I have read and listened to countless articles and podcasts on the subject of death and the grieving process, although I’m not an expert on the psychological side of losing a spouse/ partner, I am very knowledgeable on the financial issues affecting widows and widowers.
In the past, when I received a call from a client informing me that their spouse had just died, I was confident my experience would allow me to properly handle the situation but in hindsight, I probably failed to provide the widow or widower with the empathy needed. Instead, I quickly discussed the Will, the RRSPs, life insurance etc., all necessary discussions but failed to truly understand and empathise with them before diving into their finances. So my new “Never Retire” focuses on providing that empathetic support and financial guidance that widows and widowers need when their spouse has recently passed.
Investing time in yourself is just as important as investing money. Listen to my podcast with Bill & Kate.
We’re not good with emotions
Like most people I meet after Mary’s death, I ignored the elephant in the room and failed to acknowledge the deceased’s life nor the pain and grief the widow/er was experiencing. Our society doesn’t handle loss and grief well, so we prefer to ignore grief and hope it eventually goes away. Unfortunately, grief doesn’t go away, it only lessens in severity over time.
I believe a widow/er needs a financial planner who understands two important issues:
- The emotions and thoughts that they’re going through (sadly, I understand completely).
- The financial reality of moving forward on their own.
In order to provide value, a financial planner must provide advice on both the emotional and financial side of widowhood. Otherwise, the advice is often not heard nor implemented.
The new clients of The Dri Financial Group
Recently, I discovered a new passion. That I want to help people who are dealing with the loss of a spouse caused by death or a divorce. Since the “Never Retire” component suggests focusing on one’s passions and delegating everything else, it’s imperative for the Dri Financial Group to expand our expertise to include the unique needs of those experiencing a major life transition such as the loss of a spouse through a death or divorce.
For clients planning their pre or post retirement years, nothing changes. We will continue to support you with the same proprietary investment models and client services we have employed for years.
Please introduce widows/ers
Here’s where I can use your help. If a friend or family member has sadly become a widow or widower, please introduce The Dri Financial Group, a team that has the emotional and financial expertise to provide the appropriate financial and emotional advice.
Contact us today to learn more about the options available to you. CLICK HERE.
Learn more:
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source https://richarddri.ca/the-financial-challenges-of-losing-your-spouse/
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