For many of us, retirement is a finish line. After you cross it, you can relinquish your responsibilities and relax. But too much relaxation and not enough responsibility can soon translate into feelings of boredom and a lack of purpose.
To combat this, more and more new retirees are taking stock and reprioritizing what they find meaningful in life. One of the best ways to do this is through introspection.
Mindfulness and purpose
As with any new life chapter, retirement lets us reflect on who we are and who we want to be. This regularly happens throughout our careers as we change roles or employers based on our skills. But there is no reason this should stop once we hit retirement.
How we define ourselves in retirement may look a bit different. For this, New York Times columnist David Brooks suggests using an analogy of “resume virtues” and “eulogy virtues” by imagining what you would like said about you during a eulogy instead of what you would say about yourself during an interview. When looking ahead, picture the legacy you want to leave and the memories you want to share with others.¹ Try asking yourself:
- Who are the people I care about?
- What do I want them to see when they think of me?
- What makes me happy? What makes them happy?
- Which memories do I often come back to? How have they shaped who I am?
These can be daunting questions that require a lot of reflection, but asking them is an important first step. If it helps, imagine your life as a book where you are the main character. Think about the qualities that define your actions.
Activities and hobbies with meaning
Once you uncover who and what adds meaning to your life, you’ll have an easier time pinpointing the activities that offer the most value to your life. Think of them as the moments that make up the story. Where do these stories take place, and what are you doing in them? Here are some questions to help you identify the activities you gravitate to:
- Which activities do I engage in, and which have I been involved in before? Are there new or more profound ways I can pursue them?
- Which activities have I always wanted to do, if only I could? Are they still things I can/would like to pursue?
- Do these activities align with my renewed sense of self?
Once you are able to identify some activities, imagine how they would fit in your schedule. Ask yourself more concrete questions like “What does a typical Tuesday look like?”. Being more precise about how you wish to spend your time will help shape your idea of purpose and understand how to achieve it.
Maintaining a purposeful community
When we think about what we find meaningful, it’s easy to focus on ourselves. But our sense of purpose may be just as reliant on the other people in our lives. The chances are that a significant part of your retirement will be spent with people with whom you have spent your life cultivating a relationship.
When thinking about what you want to accomplish, ask yourself who else plays a role in your story.
- Do my activities involve or help the people and communities I care about?
- Are there ways of expanding their impact?
- Can I leverage them to build or strengthen communities?
For example, let’s say you always wanted to spend your retirement travelling the world, but as the years go by, you find greater meaning in spending time with your kids and grandkids. You can shift your priorities to spend quality time or travel with them and create memories together.
As another example, perhaps you have spent much of your recreational time playing hockey and want to maintain an active connection to it. Consider offering lessons to less experienced players or helping local hockey programs flourish.
Creating your retirement legacy
Retirement shouldn’t be a passive experience. It’s another chapter to discover yourself and create or redefine your purpose. Unlike our ideas of a “good job” or a “good education,” it is hard to determine what exactly defines a “good retirement.” But if you take the time to step back from the page before diving in, you give yourself more control over the masterpiece that is your life.
¹ https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html
source https://rosenbergdri.ca/preparing-for-a-purpose-driven-retirement/
Dri Financial Group 